Trail Report · Est. 2026 · Montana

I GotStumped

You glassed that ridge for eleven minutes. You were certain. It was a stump. It was always a stump.

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A grizzly bear formed entirely from tree roots and stumps, backed by a rust-orange sun

What did you see?

Check one

Pick the one you were sure about.

0 Confirmed stumps

The whole thing, honestly

Eleven seconds
of pure conviction

00:00

A dark shape on the far bench. Big. Broad. Not moving, which somehow makes it worse.

00:04

Glass up. Breath held. You start whispering to whoever is unlucky enough to be next to you.

00:11

It is a stump. It has been a stump this entire time. It will be a stump tomorrow.

If you know, you know.

The Lineup

Seven ways to admit it

Printed on demand and shipped through Amazon. Tees, hoodies, and long sleeves in the sizes you actually wear.

Trail Report checklist design: Bear, Elk, Moose unchecked, Stump checked in orange

Trail Report

The joke stated plainly, box already filled in. The one people read across a parking lot.

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Hands holding binoculars, a stump with antler-like branches beyond

The Glass

The exact moment, rendered in full. Look through the lenses. Those antlers are branches.

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A grizzly formed from tree roots against a rust-colored sun

Root Grizzly

Sun-backed, shoulder-humped, and made entirely of roots. Convincing right up until it isn't.

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A stump shaped like a bear wearing a ball cap and sunglasses

Off Duty

Cap on, shades down, no intention of moving. He knows what he's doing to you.

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A grazing bear made of bark and wood grain in a mountain meadow

Grazing Stump

Head down in the wildflowers, feeding. Give it a second look. Then a third.

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Circular badge with binoculars resting on a stump, mountains, paw and hoof prints, Est. 2026

Trail Crest

The badge. Binoculars up, stump below, one paw print and one hoof print. Est. 2026.

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Trail Report checklist design on cream with binocular illustration

Trail Report, Filed

Same report, cream stock, full scene attached. For when you want the evidence included.

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Field Notes

Our own evidence

Every photo here is ours. Most of them are of actual animals.

A distant dark shape on a sagebrush hillside, too far away to identify with certainty
Exhibit A · Yellowstone, June

Submitted without comment

That's a
grizzly

Shot at maximum zoom from a pullout. We watched it for six minutes. Chris was certain. Teresa was certain. Two other cars pulled over because we were certain.

It did not move once.

A young elk standing among lodgepole pines
Elk · verified
A bison grazing at the edge of a lodgepole forest
Bison · verified
Snow-capped peaks across a wide blue lake
Yellowstone Lake
Welcome to Big Sky, Montana road sign
Big Sky, Montana
Teresa and Chris smiling at an overlook above a waterfall in Yellowstone
Teresa & Chris · Lower Falls

Who filed the report

We have been
wrong a lot

We're Teresa and Chris. Between us we've called in more stumps than animals, and we've stopped pretending otherwise.

Every design here started as something one of us swore was a grizzly. The country is real, the binoculars are real, and the wildlife is out there — just, statistically, not in the direction we were pointing.

Made for anyone who has ever whispered "don't move, don't move" at a piece of dead timber.

— Teresa & Chris

The Sighting Log

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